Leap Of Faith

I like lists, plans, calendars, itineraries, ect. Why? I like to know what the heck is going on. I'm not sure why I'm like this, but I am. I like to have every single thing planned out and gone over it in my head at least 4 times. I'm a planner. I  can't help it. But, God likes to test me. I'm glad He does. Because you see, if I'm being tested that means either a) He is molding me and making me into the person He wants me to be, b) He is training me for a task I'm about to take on, or c) I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing and He is steering me back on course. And all of those are absolutely fine by me :) Now, imagine yourself being like me, the planner, needing to know every single detail of every single moment being planned out ahead of time and all thought out and processed at least in your head if not on paper already. And let's just say that one of the biggest decisions of your entire life that you have thought about forever is being put in front of you and you are being asked to finally make that decision that effects the rest of your life. That is a scary thing for someone like me. Especially when you are terrified of making a wrong decision and messing up the rest of your life as well as others lives. So, you do what every Christian should do, pray. And I have. I've prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and felt like I've done nothing but prayed. Which isn't such a bad thing ( I personally think that's how we should treat every decision or situation whether it be life altering or not). Anyways, I've prayed, asking God for His will to be done in this situation, whatever it may be. And I've felt a peace about the answer. Yet, me being a worrier of my future, still ask. Aint that just like a Christian? To say, "Now God, are you sure about that??" That's not how we should be, but we are. Or maybe not. Maybe no one else does that and I'm just preaching to myself. Well, at least I'll benefit from this. But we have to put our faith in God. We have to know that if He gives us the thumbs up that we just have to go for it. We have to trust that He has it alllllllll planned out, every detail of every day. And if that's what the plan says, then we will be just fine. Actually, we will be better than fine, we will be blessed. And if you like to look at the negative side of everything, like me, even if we take that risk and go for it and it doesn't work out, God still had it all planned out. Not to hurt us. He would never try to hurt us. It is for our growth. It's part of our journey's that we have to take. He didn't promise us that we would stay on top of that mountain all of our life and never see the valley. He told us we would have trouble. But, guess what?? HE OVERCAME OUR TROUBLE!!! A loooooooooooooong time ago. On a cross. He said, "It is FINISHED!" Not, "well, it's almost over" or "it's just about finished". It's done! PTL! So that thing that your going through, gone through, about to go through, it's only purpose is to make you stronger and help you grow, hopefully closer to God. I did. I'm glad for my turmoil, because I don't know if I ever would have found that hope and comfort that I found in my God if I had never felt that much pain. And that scares me. So, here goes. God is giving me the thumbs up, which I'm thrilled about. And I'm going to take this leap of faith. But Praise God I have someone to hold my hand and jump with me :)